"Oh, adventurer, you truly know where to step! The Shady Dealer’s shop is no ordinary bazaar filled with cheap trinkets and forgettable baubles. No, no. Here, only the rarest relics are found—each with its own story, its own power.

Our selection is nothing less than the essence of forgotten legends and the world's hidden corners. These are not just bracelets; they are artifacts infused with history, whispered secrets, and perhaps even a touch of lingering magic.

Each bracelet possesses a unique attribute—some grant strength, others bestow luck, while a few sharpen the mind’s clarity. Every single one carries an aura of something... different. Of course, not everyone can sense it. But you? If you’ve found your way here, I’d wager you have a keen sense for hidden forces, don’t you?

These relics are crafted from carefully chosen gemstones and coconut elements, materials known to hold ancient, untamed energy. They are not only unique in appearance but in effect as well. Now, I won’t promise that wearing one will let you single-handedly slay a dragon—but I can assure you, it might just make you a little better at it.

And which one is meant for you? Ah, adventurer... take a look around, listen for the call, and let the right relic choose you. Because trust me, that’s always how it happens."

Strength – If raw power is your weapon, if you enjoy the tension of your muscles as you push forward, and if your favorite problem-solving method is charging straight through the front gate, then this is for you.

Dexterity – If speed and agility are your deadliest assets, if dodging blows is second nature, and if the sudden disappearance of coin purses happens to be your specialty, then look no further!

Intelligence – If the power of the mind speaks to you, if strategy is your sharpest blade, and if you'd rather throw a fireball than swing a sword, then this one belongs on your wrist.

Wisdom – If you seek the hidden truths of the world, if your strength comes from within, and if you feel the subtle shifts of fate, then this is your best choice.

Charisma – If doors open before you with just a smile, if your words win battles before swords are drawn, and if the finest company always finds its way to your table, then this was made for you.

Luck – If you always seem to walk into the tavern just as a treasure-hunting expedition begins, if the dice always roll in your favor, and if fate never quite works against you, then wear this proudly.

"But if you still can’t decide… well, they say fate always whispers. Just pay attention to the signs!"

"Ah, adventurer, this is the question every second mortal asks… and the answer? Well, that depends on what you mean by magic."

The relics of the Shady Dealer are crafted in the spirit of ancient legends, each carrying a story of power, fate, and mystery. As for magic—well, that is something to be felt rather than proven. Some claim that since wearing their bracelet, their luck has changed, their strength has grown, or things simply fall into place more easily. Others believe they "just" received a unique, handcrafted piece of jewelry.

The true enchantment is the one you bring with you. If you believe in your relic, if you wear it as a token of destiny, then perhaps… just perhaps… one day, it will truly work.

"But if you're expecting to start hurling fireballs overnight, you may be in for a disappointment. That sort of thing requires special training… or a very poorly negotiated demonic pact."

"Ah, finally! A mortal who asks the right questions! How delightful. Listen closely, for I won’t tell this tale twice… or maybe I will? Time is such a fickle thing."

The relics of the Shady Dealer are not just bracelets—they are fragments of legends, echoes of power, and whispers of forgotten realms. Each gemstone is chosen with great care, steeped in history and myth. Onyx was the guardian of ancient warriors, lava stone carries the primordial fire of the earth, and tiger’s eye has long been the tool of masters of perception and strategy. Every piece has a purpose—it’s not mere decoration but a force you carry on your journey.

And why coconut beads? Simple: they represent the cycle of life and the raw power of nature. Instead of cold metal, we chose organic elements—because a true adventurer wears the essence of the world on their wrist, not some shiny trinket.

"So yes, mortal… these relics are what they are for a reason. But what they awaken within you? Well, that’s your story to tell."

"Oh, mortal… must everything be tied in knots for you to feel in control? True relics rest where they belong—no need for fumbling cords or dangling enchantments."

Our bracelets are not adjustable, because they don’t need to be. When you place your order, you’ll choose your size, and your relic will be bound with a fine, near-invisible thread—a design chosen for both comfort and elegance.

No flapping cords, no slipping knots. Just a perfect fit that doesn’t interfere when you’re reaching for your sword—or your stew. It’s quiet, durable, and won’t betray you mid-quest. After all, some relics whisper power. They don’t shout it.

"Ha! A custom relic with your own magic? Well, mortal, it's not impossible… but don't think Mikael is eager to deal with it!"

Yes, it is possible to craft a custom bracelet attuned to your unique power. However, such an endeavor does not come cheap, and Mikael's patience is even more expensive. Custom pieces are only made upon special request, and only if the deal is interesting or profitable enough for Mikael to personally oversee it.

"Whether it’s an artifact for a secret alchemist guild, a legendary weapon worthy of the grandest tales, or just a way to impress the crowd at the tavern… if you have enough gold, I might consider it. Just don’t expect me to do it with a smile!"

If you’re serious, contact us, and we’ll see how much uniqueness is worth to you."

"Hah! A good relic outlives its owner. A bad one… well, those don’t make it into legends."

The bracelets offered by the Shady Dealer are not mere market trinkets. These are real, carefully crafted relics, designed for durability and long-term wear. The gemstones are solid, the coconut beads are lightweight yet sturdy, and the adjustable leather cord ensures that your bracelet will stay with you for years to come.

But can they withstand battle? Well, if you’re planning to bash a dragon over the head with it, you might want to reconsider your choice of weapon. However, for everyday adventures, long journeys, intense training sessions, or even the occasional tavern brawl, these relics can hold their own. Just take care of them— even the mightiest artifacts have their limits.

"And if, by some mysterious twist of fate, your bracelet does end up in pieces? Well… maybe the universe is trying to tell you something. Or maybe it’s just time for a new relic."

"Oh, mortal... didn't you choose this relic yourself? Didn't you feel the call of destiny when you bought it? Well... if you've changed your mind, there is a way—but don’t expect an easy path."

The Shady Dealer is no ordinary merchant, and neither are returns. If your relic is untouched, unworn, and still in the pristine condition in which it was unsealed from its box, you may send it back. But beware—the shadows are watching… and so is Mikael.

Return Policy:

You have 14 days to return the relic. Any longer? The time rifts close.

The relic must be in its original, untouched condition. If it has already been worn, the magic may have started binding to you… and may not accept another owner.

The return shipping cost is covered by the buyer. Don’t worry, it’s not a demonic contract, just a regular postal fee.

Once the relic arrives back safely, the Shady Dealer will inspect it, and you will be refunded in full… in gold—uh, I mean, money.

"But tell me… do you truly want to return it? Relics always find their way to those who need them most. Perhaps the time has not yet come for you to understand why it chose you..."

"Mortal, it seems you wish to safeguard your investment… and who could blame you? An artifact isn’t a mere trinket! Listen well to the terms, but remember: magic is unpredictable."

The Shady Dealer’s Warranty:

Every bracelet is guaranteed to be authentic, handcrafted, and made from the finest materials. No cheap market trinkets here!

If the artifact suffers material defects within the first 30 days, Mikael himself will investigate the matter. (That is, unless he’s stuck in another dimension.)

The warranty does NOT cover magical duels, dragon attacks, or your own reckless behavior. (If an orc smashes it on your wrist, that’s not a defect—that’s a poor life choice.) If the claim is valid, the bracelet will be replaced or Mikael will personally restore its enchantment. (Well… not personally. He has no hands, remember?)

"But are you sure the bracelet is faulty… or have you simply not yet unlocked its true power?"

"Ahh, the age-old question: relic or decoration? The answer is simple… and depends entirely on how much you believe in the power of the arcane!"

For Magical Rituals?

If your ritual relies on pure energies, ancient minerals, and the fusion of your own intent, then yes, these relics will serve you well. Many mystics claim that the natural vibrations of these stones can influence the mind and surroundings. But will they open dimensional gates or summon a long-lost deity? Well... Mikael takes no responsibility if something stares back at you from the other side.

As a Fashion Accessory?

If you're simply looking for a stylish, mysterious piece of jewelry that adds a touch of arcane elegance to your look, then these bracelets are perfect! Their rugged craftsmanship and unique design make them an excellent addition to any outfit, with just the right amount of dark charm.

Conclusion:

These bracelets are both aesthetically and spiritually unique, but whether they can reshape the very fabric of reality? Well, that depends entirely on your abilities… and your belief.

"Well, mortal, congratulations! Not everyone receives a personal message from a floating skull. But don’t worry, it’s not a cursed parchment demanding your soul… usually."

What does the secret message mean? Mikael’s secret message is a small gift, a whisper from beyond the veil, meant to aid you in your future adventures. It may contain:

A piece of wisdom (or at least a sarcastic remark),

A prophecy (or a completely nonsensical rhymed message),

A discount (to tempt you into acquiring yet another relic).

What should you do with it?

If it includes a code, use it on your next purchase, and Mikael will "graciously" grant you a small discount. If it’s some cryptic, unreadable text... well, maybe the universe is speaking to you… or maybe Mikael was just bored. If it’s a quote, remember it well! Who knows, it might save your life when stepping through a portal someday!

"And if the parchment starts glowing and whispering to you… well, my advice is to run. Fast."

"Ah, mortal, every relic has a past. But what happens when a story begins with you? Mikael cannot allow such an important event to go undocumented! And thus, the customer adventure stories are born."

The Secret of Storytelling When you choose a relic, it’s not just an object. The question isn’t “what you bought,” but “how you obtained it.” Mikael receives visions through the transdimensional merchant network (or perhaps he just has too much free time), and as a result, every adventurer receives a unique story.

What Influences Your Tale?

The type and properties of the relic – A stone imbued with magic tells a different tale than a bracelet forged for lost kings.

Your name – Yes, you! In this legend, you are the main character, and Mikael ensures you have an appropriately epic name to match.

The hand of fate – Or rather, Mikael’s mood. Sometimes your tale will be dark and ominous, other times an unexpected joke might slip in.

What Can You Do with Your Story?

Tell your friends how you acquired your relic through a shady market deal or stole it from a dragon’s hoard!

Read it carefully—there may be a hidden message within…

Or simply use it as proof of your magical prowess if anyone dares question you.

"Mortal, every hero needs an origin story. Now you have one. Don’t mess it up."

"Ah, the oldest magic in the world: the exchange of gold! Unfortunately, we cannot accept treasure chests stolen from a living dragon, but there are other ways to claim your relic."

💰 Accepted payment methods:

Credit/Debit Cards – The enchanted scrolls of the modern world: Visa, Mastercard, and other mysterious orders.

PayPal – An interdimensional transaction portal where wealth flows securely.

Google Pay / Apple Pay – If your magical rings (a.k.a. your smartphone) can transfer gold with a single tap.

❌ What is NOT accepted?

Cash on Delivery (COD) – The Shady Dealer does not send relics on good faith, only to have a so-called "adventurer" mysteriously vanish without paying. Mikael has seen this trick too many times.

Direct gold coins or magical seals – Sadly, your world's currency isn’t compatible with demonic banking systems.

"So, adventurer, if you're ready to pay, the portal is open before you. If not… well, Mikael is not responsible if another buyer claims the relic before you do."

"Mortal, I enjoy a good gamble... but not with my earnings! Don't worry, the Shady Dealer’s portal is as secure as a magical ward against demons—just with fewer goat hides and more advanced technology."

🛡 What protective enchantments (and earthly security protocols) are in place? Encrypted payment gateway – Stronger protection than a high priest standing in a mage’s circle.

SSL encryption – Meaning your data is as hidden as the thoughts of a dark elf spy. Trusted payment providers – We only work with earthly banks and payment systems that aren’t secretly in league with demonic entities.

⚠ What WON’T happen?

No one will steal your gold coins (because we don’t accept those anyway). Your transaction won’t accidentally bind you into a demonic contract that claims your soul. Mikael won’t sneak in an unexpected “interdimensional gateway usage fee” – though he did consider it.

"In short? If you've ever trusted a magic shield, you'll trust this too. Shop away, mortal. Your money is in good hands... mostly because I don’t have any hands."

"Oh dear, that’s quite unfortunate… but don’t worry, mortal! You wouldn’t be the first to get caught in a magical storm mid-payment and wake up in an alternate realm. And trust me, worse things can happen—like getting stuck in a dimension where time flows backward. Imagine receiving your package first, and then having to pay… absolute chaos!"

But let’s get to the point:

If the transaction is interrupted and your payment doesn’t reach us, the system automatically returns your gold (or whatever mortal currency you attempted to use).

If you successfully paid but didn’t receive a confirmation, don’t panic! Send Mikael a message, and he will—with a deep, theatrical sigh of exasperation—look into the matter.

If you get thrown into another plane of existence… well, there’s not much we can do about that. But if you manage to make it back, contact us, and we’ll see what can be done.

"Remember: interdimensional storms come and go, but the Shady Dealer’s shop is always here… somewhere."

"Oh, dear adventurer, such sweet naivety! Do you truly believe the Shady Dealer would risk handing over a relic, only for a mortal to vanish through a dimensional rift, slip into a dark alley—or, even worse, simply ‘forget’ to pay? Hah! Do not insult the honor of the merchant!"

The short answer: NO.

All payments are made in advance, because:

Magic demands its price upfront, never afterward.

In a secret, shadowy market, debts are frowned upon.

Mikael has absolutely no desire to spend weeks tracking down missing payments.

"So, if you want to claim your relic, you must first present your gold—or, well… your bank card. But fear not! The payment system is more secure than a royal treasury. And best of all, no dragons guarding it!"

"Ah, the classic question: where does the Shady Dealer’s influence end? Well, adventurer, in theory, we ship everywhere that postal services operate. In practice? Well… there are a few limitations."

What You Need to Know:

We ship to most regions on Earth—if your postal service can reach you, chances are we can too.

Interdimensional delivery is still in development. If we ever get it working, the first lucky buyer gets their relic for free! (Mikael says this is still experimental… so don’t hold your breath.)

Some cursed territories (e.g., the Bermuda Triangle, Mordor, or any place where the internet is "unavailable") are highly uncertain for delivery.

"So, if your world has mail carriers or couriers, you’ll likely receive your order. If not… well, hopefully, you know some magic or have a reliable griffon courier on standby!"

"I know, adventurer, you're impatient. But remember: even the most powerful wizards can’t instantly summon a package (unless a portal accidentally drops it into your lap—but that’s rare). Here’s what you need to know!"

Estimated Delivery Time:

Local Couriers (Domestic): 2-5 business days

Distant Lands (International): 5-15 business days

Interdimensional Shipments: Currently unavailable due to technical difficulties. (Mikael once sent a package into a dragon’s lair, and he refuses to talk about it.)

⚠ Warning!

Holidays, magical storms, and the unpredictable nature of mortal postal services may cause delays.

If your package seems to have vanished into the void, feel free to contact us. Mikael will investigate (most likely with a scrying spell rather than personal effort).

"Be patient, mortal! Great things take time… unless we had a courier who mastered time magic. Unfortunately, we don’t."

"Oh, adventurer, if only you could track your relic on an enchanted map, showing the exact moment when a shadowy merchant sneaks through a dark alley with your treasure... but reality is a bit more mundane."

How Can You Track It?

Once the Shady Dealer hands your item over to the mortal couriers, you’ll receive a tracking number.

You can enter this number into the courier's portal (or, as mortals call it, a website).

Mikael, unfortunately, does not dispatch an owl or a wizard’s apprentice to personally update you on every movement—though, admittedly, that would be pretty cool.

⚠ Warning!

If your package suddenly disappears from the tracking system, don’t panic! It might be traveling through a portal, or a hardworking courier could have gotten lost in another dimension (though the latter is rare). If there’s no update for more than 48 hours, send a message to Mikael—but don’t expect him to be thrilled about deciphering mortal logistics.

"So yes, you get a tracking number, not a magic map. But if you truly desire one, feel free to write it on parchment and imagine all the adventures your relic experiences before reaching you!"

"Ah, what a poetic vision! A mysterious, hooded figure glides through the night, silently placing your relic at your doorstep before vanishing into the moonlight… If only!"

The reality (which even Mikael must accept):

The Shady Dealer operates through a secret portal, but unfortunately, shadow couriers refuse to work for mortal currency. So, your packages will be delivered by ordinary human courier services—yes, those simple folk who carry boxes, sometimes show up late, and occasionally try to squeeze your package into an absurdly tiny mailbox. But there's still a bit of magic involved! Every package is carefully wrapped with mysterious and arcane elements.

Once your order is dispatched, your tracking number becomes your crystal ball, allowing you to follow your relic’s journey.

"So, if your package arrives with a standard courier, don’t be surprised. But if a shadow creature actually delivers it… well, that’s a whole different story, and you absolutely must tell us about it!"

"Ah, interdimensional mishaps... A rogue wind, a greedy demon, or a nosy wizard, and poof! Your relic might end up in an entirely different plane of existence. But worry not, adventurer—the Shady Dealer does not let his wares vanish without a trace!"

What should you do if your package hasn’t arrived?

First, be patient! Sometimes couriers get caught in minor space-time anomalies, but your package will eventually find its way. Check your magic tracking map! (Aka, the tracking number you received with your order.)

If too much time has passed, contact us, and Mikael will investigate.

And if it’s truly lost?

If your relic is swallowed by the universe’s twisting pathways, we’ll send you a replacement—completely free of charge. And if it later shows up in the hands of a troll... well, that’s no longer our problem!

"Lost packages are rare, but if your relic truly slipped into a parallel world… well, congratulations, adventurer! Perhaps another version of you is already wielding its power."

"Oh, adventurer, did you think such a powerful relic would arrive in a plain paper bag? Hah! The Shady Dealer's wares are not mere trinkets – they are an experience, a ritual, a gateway to another world!"

Every order includes:

Gift Box – Not just any box, but a dark-toned, mysteriously designed container. Exactly the kind of thing a secretive merchant would use.

Pouch – A natural-material sack to protect the relic. After all, you don’t just leave powerful magic lying around.

Product Description on Parchment – Personally curated by Mikael, ensuring you know what you’re holding. An ancient legend, a warning… or just a sarcastic remark? Who knows.

Customer Adventure Story – A unique tale detailing how you "acquired" this relic. Yes, your name will be in it!

Shady Dealer Coin – A mysterious token... perhaps a key to the world of secret merchants?

Vials (Health & Mana Potion) – One red, one blue. You can display them… or test their effects.

Mikael’s Secret Message – A cryptic note that might contain a magical code… or just a witty insult.

"So don’t worry, adventurer. Your relic won’t just arrive – it will be presented in a way befitting its power. And if you pull this package out in a shadowy market? Well, they’ll immediately know you’re not a rookie in the trade."

"Oh, of course, adventurer! Just say the word, and we’ll dispatch a fire-winged demon courier through a rift in space… Oh, wait. They usually eat the recipient instead of delivering the package. Hmm, perhaps we should stick to more traditional methods."

Express Shipping Options:

Portal Jump? – Mikael is still working on that spell… So far, only 3% of packages have ended up in completely wrong dimensions.

Pegasus Post? – A brilliant idea! But pegasi are too expensive, and Mikael insists he’s allergic to feathers.

Real Express Delivery? – If available in your region, yes! In certain areas, we offer expedited shipping—but remember, even the fastest courier is slower than a rogue who just lifted your coin pouch.

"If you want to be sure, check the available shipping options through the portal—or ask Mikael. But be careful; if he's in a bad mood, he might just send you to another plane of existence instead."

"Ah, adventurer, an excellent question! The Shady Dealer’s artifacts are no ordinary trinkets, so your concern is valid. But worry not—so far, no package has shattered on its own, teleported away, or started whispering in the courier’s bag... at least, not that we know of."

Here’s how it works:

The bracelet’s magic only activates when worn by the right person. So unless your local courier is secretly a chosen warrior, your package won’t suddenly turn invisible or unleash a shockwave mid-transit.

Mikael theoretically seals each artifact with a minor magical ward that only dissolves upon contact with its new owner. Theoretically.

If you do notice anything odd—like the box humming, or your shadow moving on its own—please contact Mikael immediately. (And do not touch the package until you’re absolutely sure it’s not a cursed relic.)

"But honestly, what’s the worst that could happen? A tiny time loop? A spontaneous fireball? Come on, adventurer—where’s your sense of adventure?"

"Oh, dear adventurer, are you truly disappointed? Did you think you could slay a dragon just by wearing this bracelet? Or perhaps Mikael wasn’t convincing enough in his sales pitch? Hah! No worries, even the greatest wizards sometimes miscalculate in a bargain."

Refund or Exchange?

Yes, if the relic does not meet your expectations, you have the option to return it or exchange it – provided it remains in pristine condition and you haven’t attempted any demon summoning with it.

Return Process:

Contact us through the portal (aka, send us a message).

Pack the relic back into its original gift box – no need to recharge its magical aura, but please, don’t engage in one last battle with it!

Send it back via courier – unfortunately, teleportation is not yet an option.

Once it arrives, the Shady Dealer will decide its fate, and we will either refund your gold or exchange your relic for another.

"Remember, adventurer! Life is full of risks, but if you feel you’ve chosen the wrong relic, don’t hesitate to reach out. Just a word of advice: next time, consult me, Mikael, before you decide! Such wisdom could save you a lot of gold in the long run."

"Oh, so you've realized that maybe brute strength isn’t your true calling, and you should have walked the path of agility instead? Or perhaps your charisma boost wasn’t quite enough to convince that stubborn innkeeper? No worries, mortal—even the greatest adventurers make the wrong choice sometimes!"

Yes, but under certain conditions.

Exchange Rules:

The bracelet must be returned in its original condition—no battle scars, fire damage, or accidentally inscribed ancient runes.

You have 30 days to return it. Time might be flexible in other realms, but here we follow this rule.

The relic must be sent back in its original gift box—no goblin-slime-stained rags or orcish catapult launches allowed.

You can exchange it for another item of equal value (if you pick a pricier one, you'll need to cover the difference).

Once the Shady Dealer approves the exchange, your new relic will be on its way—without any dimensional rift accidents.

"Choose wisely, adventurer! If you keep swapping too often, people might start thinking you have no idea what you're doing. And trust me, in our world… that can be dangerous."

"Ah, adventurer, the universe is full of peril. Dimensional gates destabilize, courier golems grip a bit too tightly, and sometimes—perhaps worst of all—a completely ordinary human delivery person handles your package. A true gamble. But worry not! If your relic arrives damaged, we won’t leave you stranded."

If your bracelet was damaged during shipping:

Stay calm! Don’t try to fix it yourself with the help of a back-alley blacksmith or an overly enthusiastic sorcerer.

Take pictures of the damage and send them to Mikael (he’s at least as fast as a magical message raven).

If the damage is deemed legitimate by the laws of this realm, we’ll promptly send you a replacement relic.

If you decide to seek out a shady necromancer for a repair job instead… well, that’s entirely your own risk.

"So, if a portal storm cracked the stone or a shadow creature got too curious and licked the package, let me know—we’ll handle it. If, however, you left it on the edge of a table and your cat knocked it off… well, that was fate, my friend."

"Oh, mortal, do you think you can just return a Shady Dealer relic as if it were a poorly thrown dice roll? Not so fast! Every relic has its own fate, but if you insist on sending it back, listen carefully—because I’m only explaining this once!"

The Sacred Laws of Returning an Artifact:

Do NOT place it in a demonic summoning circle! It won’t teleport back automatically—no matter how much you wish it would.

Contact Mikael first! Send a message, and if your request is valid, you’ll receive instructions for the ritual (or as you mortals call it, "the return process").

The relic must be in its original, untouched condition! If it has already survived an orc’s combat training, I’m afraid it’s bound to your destiny.

Return shipping is your responsibility!

Sorry, but portal fees aren’t cheap, and Mikael won’t be using his own magic to retrieve every lost soul’s impulse purchase. Custom relics cannot be returned! If you requested a bracelet imbued with unique magic, it is now bound to your fate. If you don’t like it… well, try bargaining with a rogue necromancer.

"If you follow all the rules, the return ritual may be successful. If not… well, let’s just say an offended relic might haunt your dreams. Choose wisely, adventurer!"